jesus, take the wheel. now put it in first - no, put the clutch in and - jesus, what the fuck, you said you could drive stick
what if guys came coffee… i’ll have one ejaculatte please
I just spit out my coffee
You’re supposed to swallow it
If this doesn’t mean anything to you, please listen to this priceless piece of comedy immediately.
Pros of being gay: both you and your wife would get into the lifeboats on the titanic.
Cons to being gay: both you and your husband drown on the Titanic
This is the greatest tweet in the history of tweets
REPEAT AFTER ME
- HAVING SELF CONFIDENCE ISNT ‘VAIN’
- HAVING SELF CONFIDENCE ISNT ‘CONCEITED’
- HAVING SELF CONFIDENCE ISNT A BAD THING
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A SHAVED RABBIT
Put a hat on it and ask it to bust myths.
I love and seriously respect that Idina realizes that she’s tweeting to young, impressionable girls that really will believe her when she tells them they are beautiful!
I’m putting my cat on a vegan diet.
"how could you do that! that’s animal abuse"
No it’s not. a vegan-only diet is actually very healthy for them.
"cats are carnivores. they need to eat meat"
I know. that’s why it’s a vegan-only diet. I feed them only the finest vegans I can find.
I was about to go off on you
i should nOT BE tuRNED ON BY THAT
what it looks like:
what it feels like: